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In the last two years I've lost more loved ones than I have my entire life. Each loss makes me want to change my ways and spend more time with family and friends but I guess old habits die hard and I seem to find myself "busy" more often than not. It's true what they say- you never know what you had till it's gone. I never realized how much I didn't say and didn't do till it was too late. But all I can do now and all I can ever do is hope that they knew how much I loved them. I realize that when I die, all I can take with me are my memories and the knowledge that in my life I was loved. I'd like to think they knew I loved them (it's a cheap and selfish consolation but it gives me solace). Coping with death is never easy no matter how many times you've experienced it. I choose to remember and make the effort every day never to forget because the memories begin to fade. I'm starting to realize just how powerful scents are (as weird as that may sound!). Each time I smell Japanese cherry blossom lotion from B & B works, I'm reminded of the last time I visited my grandma in Argentina. Every. Single.Time. I remember the taste of the ravioli my aunt made me because no one could cook like her and I remember her love for music and her making me promise to always sing. If I can keep these moments with me always, I'm content.
What are your coping mechanisms? Do you struggle with the same kind of guilt?
ps. sorry if this is a somber post...
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